There’s a point in my life at which I started becoming a lazy person. The only thing I did was lay on the couch like a walrus, watching my favorite TV show until I fell asleep. Then I would get up and open the refrigerator to find something to eat. I ate a big bowl of ice cream every night. I ate cheesecake and fries regularly. I could eat 3 – 6 corns on the cobb. Like a baby, I took my nap 3 times a day–morning, afternoon and evening. My favorite hobby was eating and sleeping.
With my small build ( 4’11 and size 2) I’ve gained 25 pounds in 3 months. I remember that I always made a joke to my husband every time I showed him my belly fat. The first and second time he laughed with me. The third time and onwards, I noticed his laughter lessening. Until one point when he couldn’t stand it anymore, I guessed. He tried to be honest with me and told that I was fat. Fat wasn’t a joke you want to laugh at. I was so sad for a while but my passion for food was bigger than my sadness. As long as I was happy, who cares, I thought.
Sometimes, there’s nothing good on TV and I ended up watching the Style Network or some celebrity show. It led me to read other celebrity magazines. I became obsessed to see how stylish the celebrities were and how perfect their bodies seemed. I remember I had that precious moment when my husband flattered me all the time. Saying how cute my body was. But I hadn’t heard him say it for quite sometime.
I gain more and more pounds each day. My body was far from cute. My skin was rough like orange skin. Cellulose everywhere, I became an unattractive person. All of my clothes were too small now and I had to buy another clothes in a larger size. Every time I saw myself in the mirror, I was so sad because I looked ugly. It seems my body was asymmetrical. It was just big here and there.
After almost a year of being lazy, one day, as usual while laying on the couch watching my favorite celebrity show, I came to realize that I had to do something to change my life. I jumped from my couch and said out loud “No more lazy. I have to loose weight”.
I used to have a friend who always bragged about her marriage. She’s actually a pretty lady but she didn’t care about her appearance. Every time we asked her to do something about her looks, put make up on or change her style, she always said “why bother, I’m already married. You guys who are still single need it the most.”
We then teased her. We told her that there so many beautiful girls out there and she had to be careful to keep her husband happy or else don’t blame him for being attracted to another girl one day. And she replied, “my husband loves me so much and he won’t ever do that to me.”
I totally disagreed with her. For me, a good relationship is about taking care of the relationship itself. A relationship is like a garden that you need to maintain and water. The joke that I used to point out to my other friend keep bothering me. I don’t want to be like her. I want to make myself and my husband happy. I want to be a healthy person with a good spirit and enthusiasm in life.
Here comes the hard part of my journey of loosing weight. Continue reading “Loosing Weight Diary Part 2“