Teach me to number my days Lord, that I may get a heart of wisdom. (psalm 19:12)

Have you ever been in a position where you want to be somebody else? When magazines and media are all around you? You see fashion everywhere and you start questioning and complaining about how you look. You look at the mirror and start finding flaws in yourself. I’m short, my thighs were big, My calves are too bulky. Wish I could be tall. Wish I could have a body like her. I would be happy if I can look that way.

The answer is you never know whether you will be happy or not. You think you will be happy if you become like other people, but you just don’t know if other people you want to be are happy to have what they want. You think you will be happy to be somebody else, but when you have everything you want, you still want something more. You are never satisfied with what you have.

I used to be that way. I always looked at myself and wished I could be tall, have a skinny body, have skinny legs so I can wear mini skirts. I wanted to wear hats like the models in the magazines wear. I wanted to wear riding boots and on and on… But my body isn’t designed for that.

I remember every time I went to the store with my husband I tried an oversize black hat and asked my husband’s opinion. He said

Nah! Looks like a witch

Try another one. He said

Nah you look like a scarecrow.

I love my husband dearly, and I trust his opinion about how I look. I appreciate his honesty. I’d rather get an honest answer than an answer that is just trying to please me.

You just don’t know how many times I have tried riding boots and I never once found the right pair because I have big calves. One time I got these boots online with the widest calves I could get. They were still tight on my calves and it took an army to put it on. My husband’s task was to help me to pull the zip while I squeezed the boots, then helped me pull the boots off my feet because I couldn’t do it myself (it’s too tight).

After so many attempts, I finally gave up. I just want to be myself. I accept whatever I have. Everybody is designed as a unique human being. Instead of being somebody else, I work on what I have. I emphasize my good qualities rather than dwelling on my flaws. And I have gratitude for them. Ironically, once I gave up, I found the right boots and the right hat for me.The hat and the boots that are designed to suit my body type and not someone else’s body type.

Imagine this, if one day you wake up in the morning, you don’t have feet to walk, or you can’t see, or you’re paralyzed. Oh that’s scary. So, why do I complain about things I don’t have? Why not thank God for what I have? What if He took all those things from me one morning? I would still have legs to walk. I would still have hands. I would have so many wonderful blessings that I hadn’t paid attention to before.

From now on, when I wake up in the morning, I always check everything I have, legs, eyes, breath, my life, husband, family and I thank God for another chance to be the person He wants me to be. So teach me to number my days Lord, that I may get a heart of wisdom. (psalm 19:12)

This is one of my favorite songs. I played it for my mom 7 days before she passed away. She loved this song so much. Hope you’ll enjoy it too.

I dedicate this post to anyone who needs strength, who almost wants to give up in their life right now. Please hang on  and remember that God our Father in heaven loves us so much; He promised that He won’t leave us nor forsake us. Stay still and wait patiently for Him. Give it all to Jesus, and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

This is a song I like from my Christian song collection. It’s called “Strong Enough” by Mathew West.

For so many years I had thought differently until I heard this song. I know the scripture says:

Philippians 4:13

I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me

What I don’t realize is that I don’t need to be strong enough to carry my cross because I have Jesus inside me who will carry it for me. He’s the one Who will give me strength, Who will walk with me, Who will help me to get through my trouble, difficulties, my sadness etc..

I don’t need to be strong enough because I’m not strong. I’m strong because of Him. He loves and cares for me deeply. The only thing I need to do is just surrender to Him and let Him work in me.  I love you Father and I know you love Suzana too.

 

Here’s the lyrics of the song:

You must
You must think I’m strong
To give me what I’m going through

Well, forgive me
Forgive me if I’m wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

I know I’m not strong enough to be
everything that I’m supposed to be
I give up
I’m not strong enough
Hands of mercy won’t you cover me
Lord right now I’m asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us

Well, maybe
Maybe that’s the point
To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I’m finally
Finally at rock bottom
Well, that’s when I start looking up
And reaching out

I know I’m not strong enough to be
Everything that I’m supposed to be
I give up I’m not stong enough
Hands of mercy won’t you cover me

Lord right now I’m asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Cause I’m broken
Down to nothing
But I’m still holding on to the one thing
You are God and you are strong
When I am weak

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don’t have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don’t have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Oh, yeah

I know I’m not strong enough to be
Everything that I’m supposed to be
I give up I’m not strong enough
Hands of mercy won’t you cover me
Lord right now I’m asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Strong enough

 

The Bible verses to meditate on this week are Luke 9:25-26

“For what is a man profited if he gains the whole world, and loses or forfeits himself?

“For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when He comes in His glory, and the glory of the Father and of the holy angels”

These are some of my favorite Bible verses. These verses remind me of what our real purpose is on this earth. Every time  I lean too much toward this world and all the glory, I think about the real purpose of my life is here in this earth.

Things that I tend to focus on too much in this life are: job, finances, fame, power, etc…  I will bring NOTHING when I leave this earth. Nothing!  If you know that you are going to die in 5 days, nothing matters in this world anymore. I would rather have my Father than the whole world that I definitely know will vanish anyway.

Love you Jesus-